No-Link-Monday: Kolo, Woody & Man Yanited

Good Monday to you and welcome to another NLM at Gunnersing. Which means fuck all except that you don’t have annoying links to click and i report the stories to their fullest, juicy, detail. In a summarized fashion of course, or Steve-o will be caught “lifting” articles wholesale from the original source. You know what that means.

Kolo Toure’s groin injury suffered at the African Cup of Nations is not as bad as we feared. According to the Arsenal medical team who flew King Kolo into Paris to assess him, he’ll be fine in “eight to 10 days”. Le Boss says “Kolo has a Grade One groin problem,” he smiled with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Heh, i said groin, hehe, *ahem* ,it will keep him out for eight to 10 days – but he will stay with the Ivory Coast squad for the rest of the tournament.” Good news then, but Kolo won’t be back in time for the FA Cup tie against Yanited (more on that later). I hope Big Phil continues his good run of form then.

There was a 5 minute flurry of transfer rumour activity for me today as i took a break from work, we were linked with a last minute bid for Boro’s Jonathan Woodgate. Allegedly the 3rd party to sneakily sneak in to scupper Spurm’s efforts to bolster their defence, the news was reported on a few reputable Arsenal Blogs, Soccernet and Skysports. I was genuinely flummoxed, why Woody? I’d spend the reported 7 million pounds plus 4 million on top to get Micah Richards. And in 5 minutes, an announcement from the Club’s Official Website, Wenger hrmphs and says, “I do not know where that story came from, there is no truth in it at all. We have never been in touch with Middlesbrough about Jonathan Woodgate.” before putting his spectacles back on his nosebridge, smiling his mischievous smile for the 2nd time today. “Heh, i said Wood.” Yes you did, Boss, yes you did.

And the big news today is that we drew Man Yanited for the next round of the FA Cup. When i saw the draw, i thought we were gonna get Barnsley or Huddersfield, but of course, the lords of football (read: the corrupt forces of the underworld gambling mafia) didn’t agree and sent Arsenal to Old Trafford for the tie. “Fuckety Fuck Fuck,” Siren texted me after i told her that we drew Yanited. “Fuckety Fuck Fuck,” she said again after I told her that we will play away at OT. I could only manage a “Bleah”. Looking at the pic above, i realized so much had happened since the last time we won the FA Cup. DB10 retired, PV4 gone, Reyes became a wanker, Cuntley Cunt became a question mark, CescFab4 cut his hair, Lauren’s part of the Dad’s army and most importantly, we’ve had a good run of results against the hated redblacks in recent times. I won’t say anymore to continue my silent belief of the anti-jinx. Let’s look forward to screaming our heads off when the tie comes around then.

Alright, i’m going back to work and i hope to read you tomorrow. Get in the comments huh? its getting a little lonely tonight. Guten Morgen and all that.