Archive for the 'The Match' Category


Monday and the late review.

Good Monday to you. Well, hopefully it has been good for you so far. Woke up this morning still feeling a little tired and i could have done with more shut-eye but of course there’s always work. Ah…work. Bloody sweltering heat didn’t help either, the good Lord must be having a Barbeque somewhere. Couldn’t He have ice cream today instead?

Right. Watching the game against Reading was quite blissful. The lads did very well in terms of movement on and off the ball, which was a joy to watch because there were nice through balls and wing play and direct attempts and loads of shots, which were on target as well. I thought if the shots did go in like they were supposed to (what the fuck am i talking about) then we would have won 5-0. At the least.

First thing i noticed was that Theo Walcott started. Thank fuck i didn’t have to go through the usual pre-match groan of seeing Eboue in the starting line-up. Say what you want to me but i thought we play better without that twat and on Saturday i was proven right. Robin and Theo rotated (to me anyway) up front and i loved it. One very good move saw Hleb thread a pass through a crowded midfield from just above the middle of the park to a running Fab4 who was just outside the box. Fab didn’t score but that move was reminiscent of the days of yore when a magnificent Dennis Bergkamp pass from the halfway line would find a sprinting Freddie running into the box from the wing. *sighs and flutters his eyelids* Sweet Bliss.

Another move that i remembered was Theo Walcott taking on 3 defenders on the right wing, gets past them and cuts back a fine pass into the 6 yard box and Fab slides in to connect but missing just by an inch.

I don’t know what were the changes that shook us up but this was by far the most scintillating performance i’ve seen this season. Maybe i’ve been so disappointed by the past ten thousand draws we’ve erm…drawn that i don’t remember other matches but you know what they say, the best fuck is the last one you had (provided you rocked her world, you lousy bastard).

Cunt of the match – Bikey what-kind-of-name-is-that-whatever
Bastard Bikey kept on nipping and kicking RVP the whole of the 2nd half and all credit to Robin for staying on his feet and let his football do the talking. Ref gave Bikey a yellow and i don’t think he deserved any less. Wish Sagna or Flam was around to give Bikey a sliding tackle lesson, yes i know that you know what i’m talking about.

Gooner of the match – Gilberto
Yes its the same old tired “he lost his captaincy, he’s such a professional yada yada yada” but i think you’d have to agree that it warmed your heart to see him put in such a performance and got a goal for it too.

Overall i have to say its been a while since i’ve not been frustrated watching an Arsenal match. I won’t name names but i hope he doesn’t play at all next week. If he proves me wrong, i don’t mind because humble pie is just that, a pie thats humble, thats waiting for me to eat it. But i’ll bet he won’t.

Last thing. Wenger thinks Theo is not a boy, not yet a monster. Which means Theo skips manhood completely – from a teenage English boy to a snarling, Nevillebrothers-eating, running with the pace of 100 horses, Monster. I’d like that. Theo the Monster. Especially the idea that he’ll eat Gary or Phil Neville for lunch. Mmm…twat sandwiches.

Alright. Hope you enjoyed the read today. See ya tomorrow eh?


A long time coming…plus Match Preview.

Hi Everyone, I hope there are still some of you still here 🙂 Been a while hasn’t it? Thanks for dropping in once in a bit to check up on me but its really been crappy life-wise and work-wise. Will i blog tomorrow? Should be. Will i disappear for a while again? Shouldn’t be. Intriguing isn’t it?

Enough about me. Lets come back to the matter at hand then. Tonight’s match (this afternoon for the UK netizens) comes at a time where supposedly it “doesn’t matter” anymore. I say, fadaddash. There i said it. Fadaddash. We need to win because there’s still the “possibility” of getting 2nd and having the luxury of not having to qualify for CL like the past 2 seasons.

We also need to win because we haven’t won for a long time. The last time we won happily was…if memory serves me right, the great and awesome night at AC Milan. No wait, when we came back from 2-0 to win 2-3 at Bolton? Which was still a long time ago. I do have many unspoken things about how we dropped points, yada yada…Oh right, because i didn’t blog about them. Idiot.

Team news ahead of the match, the peroxide one did not make it back on time from the Candy Shop down Piccadilly Street so Mad Jens stays in between the posts tonight. Justin Heezle to the Wizzle Hoyte, Bacary Sagna, Rosicky, Matty are still out while the Brazilian, Denilson could feature some way tonight. Which leaves us with the possibility of playing the most retarded Gunner (but seriously i heard that he’s not very bright) on the right again. I seriously do not like slagging off a player but what the hell, i don’t want to see him playing tonight and if i had a choice, never again.

Unfortunately he’ll play anyway so…let’s skip on ahead to other news. Le Boss wants to come back tonight all fists swinging like a cornered boxer. Can he land an uppercut on Eboue’s chin before the match so we can list him as “injured during warm up”? Also, the professor explains why he left Phil out last weekend. Which is clearly a huge facade because secretly, Phil Senderos was sent to Sicily to hire a contract out on Alex Ferguson and even more secretly to let Eboue “sleep with the fishes” discreetly…I heard Eboue likes fish tho, shucks. There seems to be some speculation already on the Captaincy of Willie “big penis” Gallas. Apparently Wenger walked into the showers after a game to speak to Cesc about a new tactic and the Flamster almost tripped the Boss while powdering his bollocks nearby. I say the bigger equipment wins all the time.

In other news, despite popular opinion, we are not in the market for David Villa. Excuse me but when do we discuss the property market…huh? David Villa is a player? Really? Never heard of him. From Valencia? Where? Spain? Sure… Flamster is given a deadline to sign the new contract for us. Personally i want him to stay but i guess if he really wanted to, he would have done so already. He did give his best for us this season so there should be no gripes about his performances to “push for a move”. See what i’m trying to do here? Reverse psychology. Last thing. I called Wenger’s bluff last week when he said “i’m only going to add one experienced player to the squad” because this week he says “i want one or two quality, real quality, players…”, so basically in Wengergebra we want 3 players – 1 old one and 2 younger, fast zippy ones.

Okay i’m done. I have to go pay some bills and possibly take a nap to rest my weary ankles from playing 6-a-side footy at 2 am in the freaking morning today. Fingers crossed we keep a clean sheet and score from a direct free kick plus from corner and from open play tonight. I’ll read you tomorrow.


We did it at San Siro! Milan 0 – 2 Arsenal!

Words fail me now… We did it against Meelan at San Siro and albeit a very tense 15 minutes in the first half, i believe most would agree with me that we did a good job. 0-2… i’m still rather pumped up, so forgive me if i’m not so coherent in the next few sentences.

So here i am, waiting for better photos from yahoo sports and editing them as fresh as they come.
One of our crucial players tonight was the man above, Mathieu Flamini. I think that he was tasked to keep Gattuso in his pocket, so that the Italian won’t be able to do much and influence the play. And Matty definitely kept Gattuso quiet.
Our defenders did put in a solid display as well, although i might argue that we were lucky on a few occasions when the ball did fall kindly to us. On that note, we made tackles higher up the pitch, in Meelan’s own half so we won’t give away too many dangerous freekicks. Spot on tactic, Arsene.
Cesc…our midfield maestro was in his element today, making great first half tackles and repeatedly got into good positions to dictate play. 2nd half you can see that he was more involved up front than back and of course that fucking paid off *huge grin*. Nonetheless, he helped alot in keeping a lid on Kaka, Meelan’s most dangerous player.
Look at those pictures…i’m getting goosebumps now, fucking hell. We waited for 84 minutes before the first goal came and what a goal it was!! It was totally unexpected because Ade was just ahead of him, Fab took a shot through the crowd and i think we woke the neighbours! (Was watching with 2 of my Gooner mates) Loved the celebration and love our lad, Francesc Fabregas, to bits! Siren wanted to have his baby after that goal…not surprising.
Cesc went straight to the bench and hugged Le Boss. Where naturally, everyone else came in and mobbed him. Love it! This is really goosebump material. I told you i’m incoherent now. *nods* We followed that up with a marvelous run by Theo Walcott on the right, where he got to a very very speculative pass and skipped pass one defender (possibly Ambrosini) and laid it off across the goalmouth for Adebayor, who didn’t miss this for the world and we made it 0-2 to the Arsenal with 2 minutes remaining in +4 injury time. This goal reminded me so much of the 5th goal when we were at the same ground playing Inter, Aliadere doing the deed.
Look at Phil, so happy! Our lads must be over the moon now. Christ i’m gonna have to leave you with that pic and i need to head to bed 🙂 Have a good day, Gooners. We love the Arsenal.


Meelan. Thoughts and Preview.

Guten Tag. It seems real life is inching over my attempts at writing and maintaining this blog. Pssh. If only blogging for Arsenal makes me some decent dough. If only. Anyway, moaning and griping aside there are a few things on my mind right now that i’d like to talk about during my lunch break.

After the weekend draw(a very close shave, i might add), signs are that our lads are priming themselves up for tonight’s match with Meelan. I believed that our lads were suffering from the heart-wrenching episode that was Birmingspam and that affected our performance greatly against Villa. Adebayor looked jaded, the overall movement of the team were great spurts of pace that lasted for 7 minutes at the start of each half. Diaby looked very very rusty (quite rightly so) and should have been substituted earlier. Walcott did not carry on where he left off from Birmingspam but there should be credit for the lad because we had to come back from an own goal which lead to Villa parking the bus for a good 60 minutes.

Tonight we attempt to shake all of that off with a visit to the San Siro. Coming off a very good performance at home in the first leg, albeit a scoreless draw, hopefully we have a European form that hiding in the corner like Dark Wing Duck.

Guess what, i was writing the last words of the previous line at 1423hrs and i was summoned to go out to the printers to deal with some shit. And now its 2113hrs. I’m not kidding when i say that my damn life is full of work now. Anyway, amazingly we have RVP back, running and we might have him on the bench tonight as well.

So…i’ve basically lost what i wanted to say this afternoon, and i’m so tired i want to just go home and nap before the damn game.

Sing for the Arsenal!


Match Review – Philade: the tonic that sent us 5 points clear

Very good morning to you, Gooners. And if you’re not a Gooner and you’re reading this, well…WE ARE 5 POINTS CLEAR! It was an emotional roller-coaster during the evening, I checked the online tv listings and found on the time slots between 12am to 6am stating a repeat of some birmingham game that was played over the weekend. And “Final whistle” stated at 6am between the time slots of 6am to 12pm…i thought my cable subscriber had screwed me over again and then decided to fuck with my mind.

Thank god that i checked with my pal, Siren, and she told me our game is going to be shown ‘live’ at 3:55 am. So its 6:25am now and you’ve guessed it, i woke up after a very short nap to catch the game. And i’m so fucking tired now but its all worth it! Worth looking at the Jedi Lion’s roar below.
If you read my post yesterday, i commented on how i struggled to name a squad of 16. Arsene Wenger must have been chuckling to himself, because he fooled me and possibly our dear friend, Mark Hughes. The second fool is enjoying the little personal Gaelic joke less because contrary to Le Boss’s earlier reports, we still fielded quite a strong 11. Of the surprise inclusions were Big Phil and Mathieu Flamini.
1st Half – We started brightly with an inter-changeable 4-5-1(to me anyway), but it looked more like 4-2-3-1(to me anyway) with Matt and Gilberto hanging back to protect the back 4 and Eduardo, Cesc, Hleb confusing the Blackburn defence by exchanging runs and flanks. It worked. We ran them silly from the starting whistle and a corner from Eduardo found a rampaging Senderos who duly got past his marker and headed a powerful header home. It was nice to see him score…like the football gods rewarded him for his fine performances for the past few weeks that Kolo was away. And we had another 18 minutes of fine possession and attacking play but we just lacked the final pass. Which sort of lead to a 20 minute period where we seem to be letting our foot off the gas a little, Rovers had 3 chances but they fucked them all up. Actually, we were quite lucky they fluffed their chances…ah what the hell “Har-Har!”.

i forgot one thing, it was really a breath of fresh air not seeing the 2nd biggest cunt in world football, Robbie Savage, playing for Blackburn. Everything just seemed so much calmer and nicer without that poxy fuckturd.
2nd Half – After a 5 minute spell where Blackburn carried on from where they left off in the 1st half…and we just dominated. I don’t remember any on-target shot attempts from Blackburn in the 2nd half at all! So we clogged and battered through their defence time and again, searching for the 2nd goal. Alex Hleb was excellent, Cesc was inching closer to his imperious best and Gilberto looked much sharper than the past couple of times he’s pulled the red and white. And just when i thought Ade won’t score for this game, the clock turns 91 and after good work by Hleb and Sagna down the right, the togonator gets the ball and pivots before slamming a shot into the bottom left corner of the Blackburn net!

Overall i’m bloody glad we took advantage of the situation and the 5 points will give us some breathing space. Okay i’m really really tired now. I need to take a nap right now. Practically dozing off as i write this. Read ya’ll soon.



Blackburn Match Preview plus overdue post, “Shit when its St. Totteringham’s day.”

Missed me? If you didn’t know by now i had to stop blogging for a bit due to the Lunar New Year celebrations. Yes, my excuse is only valid for the days of(last week) Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and yesterday…so what happened to Monday and Tuesday? I was writing Monday’s blog on monday morning but work happened. In fact, so much work happened i had to work doubly hard on Tuesday and it spilled over to Wednesday. So i didn’t really have a good reunion dinner and all that. Whatever, i’m back after the short break and you can read my ramblings again. Until the next time there’s more work and some crap holiday i can’t enjoy. BUT! i have some remnants of what was supposed to be Monday’s blog below the match preview for the game tonight. So read it if you like.

Team news ahead of the match against Blackburn is that we’re cunting doomed. We have no one to put on the field against the Tossers from Lancashire. Its quite depressing to be honest. RVP, Diaby, Denilson, etc are still out. Song is out. Apparently we’re down to 11 men/we have 11 men down. I suppose i can sign a one day contract, just pay me $2000 pounds in crisp 1 dollar notes so i can have a stack of them to show off when i go to the strip club. One problem with that tho, there are no strip clubs here. Oh i digress, yeah i’ll gladly sit my yellow ass on the bench to make up the numbers, Boss.

Probable Squad of 16 (BIG CHINESE NEW YEAR GONG!):

Wookash Fabianski
Jens Lehmann
Willie Gallas
Justin Hoyte
Gael Clichy
Gilberto Silva
Nicklas Bendtner
Armand Traore
Kerrea Gilbert
Harvard Nordveit

I was really struggling to come up with the list above and wow, we have no midfielders on the bench. AT ALL. WE’RE SO CUNTING DOOMED!
So i guess we’ll see Justin Hoyte playing CB along Gallas..I originally wanted to put Gilberto in there but there are no more DMs for us. Song could have filled in for either positions but he’s crocked as well. I think Le Boss will go for the 4-5-1 with Hleb sitting just behind Ade’s ass.

Bleargh. Work just knocked on my proverbial door again. I’m not sure if my fucking cable provider will show the match tonight so hopefully i’m awake to either arse on the arses or just watching red circles appearing on a green screen telling me “Ball goes out for corner”, “Jens Lehmann saves shot” or “Sagna throw in”. I have half the mind to poop on the huge satellite dish next to the highway, just to make a point. Fucking basturds. Hehe. Turds. I’m funny.

To answer some of the comments left on my previous post, ‘holic: i’ll go find out what happened to him. Shai: yes i was quietly plotting my own doom during the holidays and neglected to post.

2-0 to the Arsenal tonight with the customary Ade goal and Walcott slipping past Samba for a tap in. I hope. You can read on for last Tuesday’s intended post, if not…SING FOR THE GUNNERS TONIGHT!


“Shit when its St. Totteringham’s Day”

Guten Morgen. I hope your Monday went well, mine went swimmingly until my workload just tripled within 1 hour…thus no post yesterday. Luckily there was also fuck all to talk about yesterday, which would have meant a very boring No-Link-Monday.

On Sunday i promised a post full of shit and wit. I’m not so sure about the wit part now but there should be lots of shit to read about in the next 2 minutes. Let’s get to it then. We’re into the 26th match week of the 07/08 season, and after 25 games Arsenal is on top of the League (I love saying that over and over all the time) with 60 points and our neighbours, the Spurms are 11th with 29 points. There are 13 more games to go (no games in hand for either club) and for St. Totteringham’s Day to happen very early this season, we just need to win the next 3 games.

Because, lets say the Totts actually win all 13 games and build up to 68 points, we, the Mighty Arsenal, just need to make it a nice 69 to finish on top of them. Except that the Spurms won’t win all 13 games and we definitely have a good chance of beating the next 3 League opponents – Blackburn (Home), Birmingham (Away) and Aston Villa (Home). Basically this could be the earliest date in a season that St. Totteringham’s Day would be celebrated, 1st of March 2008! Cue in lots of beer-guzzling, strippers and mass prank calling to Spud buddies. “Hello, did you know it was a holiday today?? What? you didn’t realize? Ah, shame then! Happy St. Totteringham’s Day to you, dear Sir! *everyone cackles maniacally at the same time in the room*”

Ahh… warms my heart. From now on, please sacrifice more goats and calves to whoever you pray to and hopefully we can celebrate 1st of March! I will take leave that day just so i can watch North London derbies that we’ve won over and over and over and over again.


Match Review – Ade stuffs Citeh’s Record

Are you feeling good? I am. *grin* Why?

  • First team in the league to beat Citeh at their homeground this season
  • ‘ahem’ Spurms drew with Yanited
  • Chavs drew to Arsenal B team

And we are TOP OF THE LEAGUE again! We’re on 60 points with Yanited on 58. So, before i go on further…i have to ask you Gooners a question.
No, sir Togonator, absolutely not. He is definitely my Man of the Match last night with 2 goals and 1 assist. A sizzling run of form the Jedi Lion (thanks arseblogger)is on. 5 goals in the last 3 games – two against toon in the league, 1 against toon in the FA Cup, 2 against Citeh last night, and i hope he’s really feeling the love of the fans now. Anyone eating humble pie yet? Yum.
I won’t tell you how the goals were scored because i believe alot of other Arsenal blogs do it better than me. All can be found on the blogroll on the right. What i’m gonna do is to give you all the nice photos i stole from yahoo sports pictures and some opinions on who did the job for us last night.
Steve-o’s Mentionables

Clichy – okay okay, he made a mistake but he still did his business. Elano was shut out and hardly had a sniff the whole game. He must be a little distracted by his first call up to the French team but its understandable eh?

Cesc – contrary to popular opinion, i thought he did well yesterday, had a shot that curled a little bit too much to the right, and made a few passes that actually would have turned into goals if the receivers were wearing their scoring boots. unfortunately they didn’t because i noted at least 4 potential assist making passes from him. he’s coming back i tell you.

big phil – did not make a mistake last night and was alert enough to try and stop the citeh goal on the goal line. alas his third leg did not grow hard fast enough to help. But in all seriousness, I give him top marks last night.

Eduardo – WHAT A GOAL. really deserved it after all the hard work he’s done for us upfront. I noticed he was really chasing the defenders the whole night and stopped around the halfway line, which was probably the end of his zone. I read somewhere he might be offside for his goal but whatever. no one else in the team would have attempted that shot last night and especially in that position with a defender and the goalkeeper breathing down his neck. But i think he secretly enjoys that…shhh, i won’t tell your secret, Dudu.
Look at the smile on Lehmann’s face? Warms your heart doesn’t it? Our old mad German…oh man what a character, i don’t think he will stay beyond this season and i know i for one will miss him when he goes.
Despite his poker face here, i bet he was thinking quietly, “ha! i show you what i do with a 6.5 million pound defence… buy, schmuy!” to himself. But i read somewhere (its not that i don’t want to put up the link but i can’t remember where i read it, honestly, give me a break huh?) that he had a chance to buy a “quality” player during the transfer window but he passed it up. I hope this won’t come back to bite my ass but yeah, as the old adage goes, Arsene Knows.

Okay, if i’m alive tomorrow, i’ll come up with something thats full of shit and full of wit. Shit and wit don’t often go well together but we’ll see huh? We’ll see. Till then, Auf Wiedersen.

Good ‘morrow.

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